Birthdays All Around

My birthday was last week. I've hit 35 and I'm pleased to say that Clue is still my favorite movie and that I enjoy dancing to pop music. Right now my favorite song is Pumped up Kicks by Foster for the People. I think I'm still pretty hip with the kids. That being said I think my 34th year on this earth was pretty crazy. I had a couple of babies and I fed them my milk for 10.5 months all through the help of a pump that I would like to take out to a field and hit it with a baseball bat, think Office Space. I can't say this has been the hardest year of my life but I think that perhaps it has been the most dynamic. The highest highs and the lowest lows. We moved from Okinawa to San Diego. I got lost in the craziness of readjusting to life in a huge city. But what kept me grounded was my family. My girls needed me to get up every morning, feed them, change them, dress them and make sure they were nurtured. That motivation made me snap out of my uneasiness of living life away from my island. A support system was built up, dear friends stepped in and helped me so much that I can't even begin to thank them. My parents came down once or twice a week for the whole year, they allowed me time away to be alone. Shopping by myself, eating by myself and of course listening to music really loud in the car. I needed that time and I thank my parents so much for affording me the opportunity.

The person I can thank most for this year and it's success is Greg. He helped me from the very beginning. He held my hand in that cold operating room and made sure I was ok. He looked into my eyes each day and told me I was beautiful even though I didn't think I was. He held our daughters when my arms were too tired and my soul was spent. He picked me up when I was too exhausted to move from wherever I had fallen. He loved me even though I made mistakes and praised my accomplishments no matter how small. He never complained about how the house looked or if the kids were still wearing their pajamas when he got home from work. He took a job far from home to ensure I could stay home. He sacrificed his personal time to give me mine. For all of these things and more I say thank you.

To my dearest Gabriella, I love you. You showed me your big sister qualities right from the start. You held those sisters close to your heart and you haven't let go. I'm sorry I haven't given you all the attention I should have. But you overcome the lack of attention by branching out creatively, your stories and drawing entertain me at every turn. Julia and Genevieve loved you from the moment you stared into their bassinet at the hospital. And when they hear your voice they run to you and occasionally from you. You named them, you labeled them in the womb and you gave them more love than any of us, sight unseen. I think you've had favorites at times but you still love them just the same. Thank you for your patience when they've pulled your hair or stolen your toys or spilled your paints. I love you Gabriella and I thank you for being such an amazing daughter, I hope you can teach your sisters to be the same.

A year has gone and I suppose the next will be easier but it will probably be just as hard but different. Hopefully it will go just as well.

Motivation

There is a song in Rent that asks how a year is measured. Is it measured in minutes, inches, midnights, cups of coffee...you get the point. This year has been so full it's hard to measure it in anything but blurry events. It's been full of babies, first steps, moves, school, tantrums, attitude and tears. But looking ahead I see my 35th birthday, a storm taking shape on the horizon, just in view and seemingly stationary even though it's not. Today in the sort of exuberance that only comes from a looming birthday I dusted off my Zumba DVD and did a workout. As I'm typing this almost 30 minutes later my heart is still beating like I'm sprinting. The muscle memory of all those Zumba classes quickly returned but the lumberous body I now posses made it seem like I was lugging an elephant around my living room. Before the first song was over I was debating whether I should remind Gabriella how to dial 911. Yet I persevered, I made it through the grueling 20 minute express work out, slowing only once to crank the air conditioner down to arctic. I suppose the most motivating voice was not in my head but on the couch, casually studying my every move. Gabriella had a comment about every single thing I did. It reminded me why I use to do this workout when she was at school. The first thing she noticed was how young the people on the video were and how small their tummy's were. After my comment about how I was doing the workout to decrease my own tummy she studied her own pensively for a few moments before returning to her commentary. She noted that I didn't lift my feet as much as the dancers, that I wasn't jumping and that I wasn't showing my tummy while I danced. When it was all over I announced that I was going to take a shower, her response was "why?. But once I turned around to face her, sweaty and gasping for breath, she responded "oh, I see". I can't say I'll be working out in front of the peanut gallery very often. I use to do this video in front of the little girls they were much less vocal. However, that was months ago and who knows what kind of squeals and giggles I would get from them now, plus they don't know how to dial 911...yet.