Weight Watching

Well I'm sad to report that my amazing weight loss has all but vanished under the cruel deliciousness of spaghetti carbonara and countless glasses of mommy juice. In an effort to return myself to the halcyon days when my pants fit and I no longer struggled to catch my breath while walking I've started weight watchers. I'm not going to meetings I'm just mapping my progress using their online plan. So far so good. Just yesterday I received my first ribbon for losing 5 pounds. I guess compared to boot camp this is pretty easy. I already know how to make delicious food with less calories and with weight watchers you can pretty much eat whatever as long as you stay within your point limit. I will admit that my point limit seems extravagant and I've only maxed it out once. I have to stay away from my beloved McDonalds because the thing that kills this diet is fast food. Every time I try to see how high a point value is for something I use to love it makes me rethink my choice.

The other key to losing weight is getting moving. I haven't really tackled that yet, I have a great zumba dvd and a treadmill. All I need is motivation. As I filter through pictures of myself with the girls for this blog I'm constantly reminded of how fat I've gotten.

My first goal: Buy a new dress in a smaller side for the wedding we're going to in November. It gives me about 40 days, to see what I can accomplish.

So Happy Together

It's amazing how well the girls get along. Gabriella has had an attraction to the twins since she first saw them in the ultrasound picture. She named them in utero and was one of the first people to kiss them when they were born. A born big sister, Gabriella can make them laugh like no one else. Julia and Genevieve love playing with her stuff. Her room is a treasure trove of playthings.

Today after a serious reorganization of the twins playpen I brought in Gabriella's kitchen. Cleaned and restocked I expected the twins to dive right in. When they woke from their nap I revealed their new toy. They hesitantly walked over to it and then casually touched the faucet before moving away. I was shocked, I'd been so certain they would love it. Gabriella came home from school and immediately recognized that her toy was back in the house. She dove right in after she did her homework and the girls immediately followed suit. The copied everything Gabriella did. If she picked up a pot they did too. If she pretended to drink out of a cup, so did they. It was really cute. Gabriella showed them how to use this new toy and they followed her lead. I'm sure tomorrow they will be cooking up a storm.

So Different

I think these little babies look the most similar in sleep. During the day when they are wide awake and really only visible as small blurs running around, they are markedly different. The different hair and eyes are hard for people to get past when I tell them they are twins. The surprised looks on the asker's face are usually there for an extended period of time before they resignedly give up trying to figure it out. If Gabriella happens to be with us someone will often comment how lucky she is to be a big sister. She is such a proud big sister and loves to play with her littles. I do think some of the novelty of having twins sisters is starting to wear off. The littles are drawn to her room like bees to honey. The sound of her door opening is like a sirens song to their tiny ears. Once inside they go straight for whatever is most precious to her at the moment or what will make the biggest mess. They love the doll house, which is fine, she grudgingly allow them to play with the furniture. What is less fine is all the art supplies and scissors that seem to be within arms reach on every surface. While we do our best to keep Gabriella's room as off limits sometimes they are too fast, too quiet and by the time we realize they've been in there the damage is done.

There other favorite toys are the DVD's. They constantly take them down and tote them around the house. The newest development is that they now have the fine motor skills to open the DVD boxes. So now instead of just finding random DVD boxes spread around the house I'm actually finding CD's shoved into the pantry or under the couch cushions. It makes cleaning up a bit more like a treasure hunt. One of the worst tricks they've learned is turning off the TV. Picture this: Greg watching the final moments of an important tennis match, his fingers crossed that the DVR player has recorded enough for him to see the end of the match, when a tiny mini version of him saunters over to the box and presses the button turning off the whole shebang. There is usually some sort of muttering and then politely but firmly moving of the offensive child. Where as the child comes back and does it again, possibly another fifteen times, before a snack is given to distract them. This is fine if you've actually recorded the program it's much more upsetting when you've just paused a regular show.

On the up side the girls are also starting to work together and play with each other. They have been snatching toys away from each other for the past few months, but now they are playing peek a boo with each other or running after each other playing their version of tag. It's very cute, but my concern for their safety prevents me from taking a video of them.

Kickin It

This last weekend Gabriella had her very first soccer game. The weeks of practicing and the excitement of the day was apparent as eight little girls chatted about their outfits and new hair bows. As team mom I had the important job of providing the snacks and drinks for the game. While we searched through what seemed like a thousand fields searching for ours, lugging a cooler full of drinks and ice, I noticed how many kids play soccer. This was just one field in what are probably millions across the country holding games just like the one we participated in. I'm not much of a sports person myself, but I can appreciate the skills organized sports teach a child. There are many, personal discipline, team work, good sportsmanship and the idea that you can have fun even if you lose. In Gabriella's division they don't keep score but every parent knows the score as we cheer for every shot and goal. At first I wondered why not keep score because surely the kids would know, but the reality is they don't. Hours after the game Gabriella casually asked us who won and what the score was. I was shocked and happy. It proved that the AYSO knows what they are doing, win or lose the kids love to play the game and I guess that's the point.

Year One

You've come a long way babies. You've survived a whole year of life on earth. You were born into a beautiful paradise and survived a move halfway around the world. You've already been to more Theme Parks than most do in a lifetime in your first tender year. Julia can already recognize and say Donald Duck. Genevieve has shown a preference for the princesses. When I look back at their baby pictures I can't believe they've changed so much in just 12 short months. There are times when I still can't believe I have twins. The mornings when just one wakes up and I'm cuddling them alone on the couch I wonder how easy it would be with just one. But then I look at the twin in my arms and realize my life would be missing what the other twin brings to our family life. They are so different, their personalities could not be more opposite. They are a study in duality. There are times when people don't believe that they are twins. Their physical differences are striking.

Genevieve is taller and has a full head of hair and beautiful brown eyes. She loves to smile with her bottom teeth sticking out and likes to study a situation before she is willing to jump into the fray.

Julia likes to run, she often walks with her hands behind her back like she's addressing a jury. She likes to snuggle and enjoys chasing her big sister Gabriella around the house. Both girls love their daddy, especially if he happens to be sitting on the floor. They crawl over him like he's some sort of jungle gym. Their giggles and "discussions" when they wake up in the morning make all the hard stuff worth while. I suppose I could list how hard it is to be a mommy of multiples but I don't think it's that hard. Overwhelming? Yes, and at times I feel like I've been ground into the dirt with the heel of a combat boot. But through it all, through all the difficulties and tears the twinkle in their eyes as they call me mommy makes it all worthwhile.

Birthdays All Around

My birthday was last week. I've hit 35 and I'm pleased to say that Clue is still my favorite movie and that I enjoy dancing to pop music. Right now my favorite song is Pumped up Kicks by Foster for the People. I think I'm still pretty hip with the kids. That being said I think my 34th year on this earth was pretty crazy. I had a couple of babies and I fed them my milk for 10.5 months all through the help of a pump that I would like to take out to a field and hit it with a baseball bat, think Office Space. I can't say this has been the hardest year of my life but I think that perhaps it has been the most dynamic. The highest highs and the lowest lows. We moved from Okinawa to San Diego. I got lost in the craziness of readjusting to life in a huge city. But what kept me grounded was my family. My girls needed me to get up every morning, feed them, change them, dress them and make sure they were nurtured. That motivation made me snap out of my uneasiness of living life away from my island. A support system was built up, dear friends stepped in and helped me so much that I can't even begin to thank them. My parents came down once or twice a week for the whole year, they allowed me time away to be alone. Shopping by myself, eating by myself and of course listening to music really loud in the car. I needed that time and I thank my parents so much for affording me the opportunity.

The person I can thank most for this year and it's success is Greg. He helped me from the very beginning. He held my hand in that cold operating room and made sure I was ok. He looked into my eyes each day and told me I was beautiful even though I didn't think I was. He held our daughters when my arms were too tired and my soul was spent. He picked me up when I was too exhausted to move from wherever I had fallen. He loved me even though I made mistakes and praised my accomplishments no matter how small. He never complained about how the house looked or if the kids were still wearing their pajamas when he got home from work. He took a job far from home to ensure I could stay home. He sacrificed his personal time to give me mine. For all of these things and more I say thank you.

To my dearest Gabriella, I love you. You showed me your big sister qualities right from the start. You held those sisters close to your heart and you haven't let go. I'm sorry I haven't given you all the attention I should have. But you overcome the lack of attention by branching out creatively, your stories and drawing entertain me at every turn. Julia and Genevieve loved you from the moment you stared into their bassinet at the hospital. And when they hear your voice they run to you and occasionally from you. You named them, you labeled them in the womb and you gave them more love than any of us, sight unseen. I think you've had favorites at times but you still love them just the same. Thank you for your patience when they've pulled your hair or stolen your toys or spilled your paints. I love you Gabriella and I thank you for being such an amazing daughter, I hope you can teach your sisters to be the same.

A year has gone and I suppose the next will be easier but it will probably be just as hard but different. Hopefully it will go just as well.

Motivation

There is a song in Rent that asks how a year is measured. Is it measured in minutes, inches, midnights, cups of coffee...you get the point. This year has been so full it's hard to measure it in anything but blurry events. It's been full of babies, first steps, moves, school, tantrums, attitude and tears. But looking ahead I see my 35th birthday, a storm taking shape on the horizon, just in view and seemingly stationary even though it's not. Today in the sort of exuberance that only comes from a looming birthday I dusted off my Zumba DVD and did a workout. As I'm typing this almost 30 minutes later my heart is still beating like I'm sprinting. The muscle memory of all those Zumba classes quickly returned but the lumberous body I now posses made it seem like I was lugging an elephant around my living room. Before the first song was over I was debating whether I should remind Gabriella how to dial 911. Yet I persevered, I made it through the grueling 20 minute express work out, slowing only once to crank the air conditioner down to arctic. I suppose the most motivating voice was not in my head but on the couch, casually studying my every move. Gabriella had a comment about every single thing I did. It reminded me why I use to do this workout when she was at school. The first thing she noticed was how young the people on the video were and how small their tummy's were. After my comment about how I was doing the workout to decrease my own tummy she studied her own pensively for a few moments before returning to her commentary. She noted that I didn't lift my feet as much as the dancers, that I wasn't jumping and that I wasn't showing my tummy while I danced. When it was all over I announced that I was going to take a shower, her response was "why?. But once I turned around to face her, sweaty and gasping for breath, she responded "oh, I see". I can't say I'll be working out in front of the peanut gallery very often. I use to do this video in front of the little girls they were much less vocal. However, that was months ago and who knows what kind of squeals and giggles I would get from them now, plus they don't know how to dial 911...yet.